The Threesome

Her: aloha
Him: Her/she
Her: hi she
Him: and vice versa
She: LOL
Hi!!
10:56 PM Him: i've already titled this blog The Threesome
She: I am so excited I feel like I am something a celebrity! Albeit a celebrity in Him
Her: see, i was just thinking that
She: world but none the less
Her: lol
lol
oh shit, i have the lols already
She: you know I am proud :)
Him: Her, She loves Him more than Ice cream/ She, Her loves Him more than chocolate
Her: She, you live down the street, we have to hang out Sometime,
um, Him, careful
Chocolate? Really now
Him: lol
She: Seriously!
More then chocolate?!
I do love him more than ice cream though
That is a direct quote
Her: lol
i could give up chocolate in your honor or something
She: and Her I agree
Her: but ice cream, definitely love you more than ice cream too
ok, well, it's not RIGHT down the road, but you know what i mean
Him: what about LJS?
Her: um
She: I do! We will hang out
Her: yeah, it's bad for Him
She: it's ridiculous that we have not
Her: i didn't want to say "hey, we need to meet cause we have a mutual friend"
lol
She: oh but I have ....
lol
Him: That's usually how i come on to a chick
Her: and plus i think your photography skills are amazing and you must teach me something i don't know
which is actually quite a lot
She: I knew!!!!
Her: meaning i don't know alot
She: I knew you never loved my photography!!
Her: i so want to copy your "will work for shoes" picture
bad
lol
Him: yeah, i want to as well
She: ha!
Her: oh god, you would too
Him: i kinda did once, but it was more to be funny than real
She: It's yours!
Her: ok, as long as i have permission then
She: I love the one of you putting on shoes
Him: oh, i'm totally taking that pic ;)
She: getting ready to go out that's one of my favorites
oh yeah I will send you the full size one
Him: ur still supposed to send me the sifi one
i've been waiting almost a year
She: so busted
Her: thanks
She: I will do that at the exact same time then
:)
Her: sorry, i have dog wars here
She: that can't be pretty lol
Him: midget dog wars
u should film it
Her: pretty much, lol
eventually, i'm waiting for gretchen to adore her enough to turn it into dog porn
She: I am supposed to be packing right now kiddo's
Her: she's tried to hump her just once, she'll get there, lol
She: LOL
oh god that visual is awful
Him: are you related to Michael Vick?
Her: lol
where you going?
Him: nowhere
She: not you
lol
Him: doh



Him: ooh, just remember something funny i've been meaning to tell you for weeks
She: spill it
11:06 PM Him: Ever since your birthday, i get an email once a week from proflowers.com saying "show Her how much you love her" or something similar to that to get another order.
lol
Her: lmfao
you'll be proud to know the tree lives
Him: no wa!
Her: i haven't killed it yet
it's amazing
it, like, grew
She: now that is some powerful marketing
Him: despite your best efforts?
Her: yeah, ftd thinks i have something weekly
i water it and give it sun
that's all i can handle with plants
She: LOL I took my plants to my moms today and I could practically hear them cheering...
same with me
Her: lol
yeah, not talking to my fucking plant
She: most the time they don't even get water
Her: but i do love it and now i am encouraged to maybe try something else, like a hearty African violet
She: talking to them?! what on earth would you have to say
Her: don't die
that's it
it's not even brown or anything
She: dear plant......
Her: lol
Him: i hear if you masturbate in front of a plant, they're happier
She: guess who I have a crush on?
Her: do tell
She: my plant dies with that secret
Him: Uhhhhh..... That chick on the Daily 10
Her: lol
Him: the brunette
She: LOL
Him: cause, i do too!
She: my 6 foot bamboo in my bathroom knows all my secrets
Her: i'm sitting here wondering if i have any secrets
lol
wait, yes, lol
She: thank god!
Him: i bet i could talk your plant into telling me
Her: bribe it with vodka?
She: you might be able to
no that's how you get me to tell secrets
Her: me too lol
Him: i've got a plastic azalea in my room that blushes when i walk by it
;)
dont spoil my best trick ladies
She: that's because I touched it inappropriate a few times when I was there
Her: lol
Him: was it sticky?
jk
She: not the first time
but the second time for sure
Her: lol
Him: i need to put Kleenex next to it, i guess
She: clearly
Her: that would be polite

Him: i got to ogle a 15 yr old legally last weekend
She: that makes you worse than me
Her: lololk
She: lol totally joking
kinda..
Him: ha!
She: al your never to old to ogle
Her: lol
Him: nope
Her: 15 female is diff than 15 male tho
girls seem to want to look older anyway
11:16 PM Him: especially when her mom says 'the expression on your face was incredible'
She: well mentally they are a little older
Her: lmfao
She: LOL
Her: true
She: oh god...
Her: and that lasts a really long time, lol
Him: i know 20 yr old chicks more mature than Him
Her: well.....
lol
She: yeah not saying much
Him: of course, i pride myself on my 12yr old sense of humor
ohhh, got a joke
Her: you can't lose that ever
Him: if i do, kill me
Her: ok
Him: that was fast.... maybe ill leave that to someone else
lol
She: I am rereading
Her: lol
She: 21 year old distraction lol
Her: lolol
Him: does this mean i can call you Demi Moore?
She: I love how drippy they get
Him: why!!!!????
11:19 PM She: oh god the icky love stuff
Him: never was much for that. i liked to show it in more subtle and fun ways
of course, i'm 39 and single still
She: it's fun anyway that I can get it
I would of taken a heavy breather at this point
Him: are we back to the dog porn now?
She: I was close to needing that
I was with after all
Her: catching up...icky love stuff
um
lol
Him: when you edit this, we'll be making fun of her for that, right?
She: No, no editing
Her: for what
She: I dont
trust you at all
Her: lol
Him: lol
Her edits, i market. that's the deal
as of now
lol
Her: yes, but She gets approval since she's part of this
lol

Him: let me get a refill and then we'll talk about these birthers
lol
Her: is that necessary?
and do i ask what are birthers or do I know? lol
She: is it ever necessary?
Her: no, but we should wait until we're all together and have a camera, lol
She: okay
Him: the group that is convinced that Obama was not born in the United States and thinks he should relinquish the presidency
brb
Her: uh, he was born in hawaii
i know they wish they weren't american but they are
She: when was this?
Her: the past few days
along with that dumb fuck from fox news who said obama was racist
that's all i'm aware of, i don't even know what this howard gates crap is about
She: The beer and patio furniture thing
is where this might get spicy... simply because I am not such a big fan of Obama
Her: that's cool
Him: yes. but the birthers are a seperat nutbag deal
She: I think so :) LOL
yeah that does sound ridiuclous
Her: when bush was prez, everyone found dumb shit to complain about too, which is always what i think most of it is
She: of course!
if it weren't for the president SNL would have no material
ever
Her: pretty much
Him: church lady
Her: tina fey
Him: and Adam Sandler
thats about it
lol
She: I love pohler !
have you seen her new show
it's out of hand funny
Him: i'd love to pole her too!
yeah, it's awesome
Her: lol
She: LOL
Him: seriously, she's the sexiest 4 yr old alive
40 yr old
She: LOL
Her: oh thank god
lol
She: and back to gutter we roll
Him: yeah, the sexiest 4 yr old was a video i was watching earlier
KIDDING
oh, bad joke time!!!!
11:33 PM Him: back to real life....
Her: birthers
they need a hobby maybe?
Him: what happens when cousins fuck
She: I think they have one
maybe they need jobs instead
Him: or lives
Her: yep
he's president, election over, deal with it
i usually don't care until an election is coming
She: I try not to care to much
I find that they never take my suggestions
Her: mine either
i think marriage should be a lease deal
re-up every 5 years
keep everyone on their toes
Him: when they come to me for advice i usually tell them to hash it out over a beer
She: That is a fantastic idea!!
LOL
Her: i think so
because i really don't think i want to have sex with the same person for 50 years
Him: you could have a trade in option. or a buyout option
She: A lease marriage.... do tell Him more
Her: i think i'll be fuckable until i'm at least 60, then i can settle down
She: who gets to keep the fine china?
I would do you way past 60
Her: aw, thanks hair toss
lol
She: I would wait until at least adult diaper stage
Her: then it makes sense, you know?
Him: that should put me out in about 2 more years
Her: you're too old to really deal with the dating shit anymore
She: for the obvious reasons
Her: lol
She: adult diapers are....expensive
Her: he knows, i think marriage was a good idea when everyone died at age 35
then forever was only 15 years
i might, however, be a bit biased, lol
Him: and jaded?
Her: a tad perhaps
lol
no, seriously, practically, think about it
She: yeah jaded is a funny word
Her: how many people in your life have you known for 25 years and still adore? really?
She: I prefer educated
Her: educated is good
She: Just myself really
Her: life is a constant cycle of changes
She: and even then .... we went through some rough patches

(conversation interrupted and He wasn’t invited to listen L )

She: little guy :)
Him: what he hell?
Her: where did we lose you?
She: it was girl talk time
Him: lol
not sure.
Her: i was pimping my marriage as a lease idea
and we haven't even started on polyandry yet, lol
Him: was in on that
polyandry?
She: multiple Himn
Her: or woman
not Mormon stuff, bah
She: or animals
Her: but having open relationships where everyone is cool with it
She: LOL
Her: yeah, i read an article, i cheered, lol
Him: ahhh
She: aka group sex
Her: or time sharing
lol
She: you know it's not a bad call really
because not all the woman have kids
but they all help
Her: true
Him: i'm a fan of open relationships, and 3 somes... but, i'm not sure if i'm an orgy guy
She: it's like having a part time mom
Her: true
Him: no, cant work
She: hey now.... don't knock it till you try it lol
Her: i Himan, how many friends do you have, really?
Him: every girl will want to be #1
She: I have lots
Her: and is one friend enough? no
different friends take care of different needs
She: god no
Her: whys hould it be differentw ith relationships?
i so cannot fucking type
lol
She: you are so number 2
Her: lol
Him: lol
Her: al, not every girl would
if someone has their shit together enough
She: I have found myself personally much more passive now in older years then I was when I was younger
Him: that's 1 out of every 35.7 women i know
She: I would totally be down to not be number 1
Him: BS
Her: yeah, it'b e like "can you take him tonight: i have cramps"
She: I am serious
Him: case in point. C-town boy
She: I do not want to have to do everything anymore
LOL
no no not like that
Her: it's sex, that's it
She: Her will send you a full report
Her: lol
ok
people's egos freak out if you fuck someone else
She: oh god with the stories that him knows
Her: lol
no, you and i will drink and share
sometime soon
She: we could have a good little " nickname" fest of funny stories
good call!
Him: yeah and women handle that very vindictively
Her: because i get the feeling you're the atypical female, as am i, and I don't have enough atypical women friends
oh dear, are you scared? lol
She: then you need one more
Her: um, yes
i have days where i realize my friends suck, and i need new ones
lol
She: as do I
Him: no, as long as you dont dump Him as a friend with a text
lol
Her: lolololol
She: and then they have days where I think they find new friends lol
11:46 PM Her: lol
She: I prefer email
LOL
Him: Ha
She: if I dump you al it will involve a battery
Her: lol
Him: see, i know u too will only talk about how fabulous i am
lol
She: a small odd shaped one
Her: you are wonderful
i only talk shit about people i don't like
lol
Him: She would love Starr too
She: wait I talk shit about people I love... but only when they are around
lol
Her: ok, that i do
Him: u all 3 need to go out and send me reports and pics of the night

To be continued……

Lesson learned so far, Why does Him keep introducing is women friends to each other this will bite him one day…….
That and Polyagamy.

Swallowing is huge in Tennessee....

she: oh my, does that little video thing mean you're webcam ready? lol

he: i guess

i set it up so i could turn it on.

she: lol

**filler and technical difficulties**

she: ok, so we really did have someone email and ask us to take on the spit or swallow debate?

he: yes. so, at this party Friday night. That, obviously, you were totally mad at me for being at

lol

she: heh

lol

no, i have a habit of spacing shit, so i'm trying to be accountable and stuff, i was willing to stay home friday night to chat

lol

he: All us guys are at a picknick table telling obscene and politically incorrect jokes

the chicks were talking about spit or swallow

ironically

she: it seems to be a popular topic

like choosing a political party

he: *** told the girls she swallowed(like she only knew that way)

they freaked out and it became a big deal

to the other girls

she: how old are these girls?

he: 27-30

she: are they single?

he: no all married, i was the only single one there.(great decision Al)

but have all lived in *** all their lives

she: then how did they get married?

lol

um...lol

ok, that's nuts

no pun intended

he: ya

so, that led to alot of fun when we found out their conversation

she: so seriously, they just don't

they'll stick a dick in their mouth but they won't swallow

really?

he: yup

swallowing is totally the minority, btw

she: not in my poll

ok, i assume you don't have a first person opinion on this

unless you are really limber and into self-pleasure

he: odd. but i've done some 'research' on this recently

she: really? minority?

he: for real.

one of the girls said she held it in her mouth until she went to the bathroom and not sure from there

lol

she: well, here's my general consensus, and when I speak for me, I speak for my friends

because I'm not going to have friends that don't swallow, we have standards to protect here, lol

he: lol

she: well, first of all

if i'm giving a blowjob, I am really super seriously into a guy

you don't just hand those out like candy

he: why not?

she: because, unless I like him, I don't get into doing it

he: i thought that was the new 1st base

:)

she: if I dig him alot, I turn into a hoover

he: lol

she: there aren't alot of guys who fall into this category, lol

now, if you're down there

and you like him enough to be blowing him

why wouldn't you swallow?

he: i totally get that.

she: now, it's not the tastiest thing on earth

he: i'm not arguing, but i'm in the bible belt. liquor stores are open on Sundays in Denver

she: i grew up in the bible belt, silly, i've not changed my blowjob stance

lol

he: but it's not poison

she: spitting is rude

period

he: lol

she: it's that simple

spitting is rude

now, again, with the taste thing

he: okay. here's why you're wrong.

she: really? this is an issue that requires someone to be wrong?

lol

he: brb 1st gotta pee

she: k

he: back

okay, hear me out on this. then judge

lol

she: ok dokey

lol

he: when a girl is good enough too get me to nut with her tounge/mouth i could give a shit if she spits it out, swallows it or let's it slide out her nose. :) the important thing is that i got to get off.

Now, if you ask me to pull it out and blow it all over you..... then, i'm impressed

:)

Rude is only involved when you say 'tell me before you cum, so i can get out of the way'

now you can berate me lol

she: no, not berating, if your only choice is to spit or swallow, then swallowing is the preferred method

why hold it in your mouth to run and spit it out? what, she gonna put it in a shot glass and drink it?

later?

he: i would tend to agree, it's easier

she: to me, spitting is the equivalent of a dude withdrawing himself from my nethers and going to brush his teeth.

he: i meant the sexist remark i ended that with

lol

she: it's sex, it's messy, it's wet, deal with it

he: lol

she: um, what was sexist, my sexist radar is obviously off

he: deal with it, i've slept with blood on my cock, i'm not gonna get prissy

lol

she: lol

and here's the other polite thing about swallowing

if someone is making sure all of it is out of there...

he: don't have to wash the sheets?

she: it's not going to hurt when you pee shortly thereafter

he: no, it still does. well, not hurt but when what's left dries, it spreads your pee all over the place

lol

she: mm hmm

he: now, if you have the courtsey to lick it clean, then we totally need to get married

lol

she: pleading the fifth

he: now you're just teasing....

she: no, i have known women who are like "ewww" and I'm like what do you do?

spit it in a kleenex

by that point, it's been in your mouth longer than if you just swallowed it

he: but

at least they had it in their mouth

she: you and your underachieving silver linings, lol

he: some, will tell you to warn them

and that's not easy lol

honestly....

honestly...

honestly....

she: lol

so you're saying it really doesn't matter

he: after you've had it swallowed enough, it's more fun to pull out and shoot all over her face

she: um, what is the joy in that, really?

someone could lose an eye

he: it's like a power trip thing

she: hmmm

he: it's the ultimate marking your territory deal

she: in the wrong circumstance, it could be construed as degrading, tho

he: i'm sure this is some sort of subconscious male domination thing

but, what ever lets you sleep at night

lol

she: well, maybe swallowing can be a power trip too

hmmm

no, i'm just thinking now, lol

he: uh huh, hit me again asshold you wont see me cry

she: no, you guys are pretty vulnerable when we're down there

he: i know

i'm sayin, though. sometimes it's a power struggle. it shouldn't be. but when there is a winner and a loser, the relationship is bound to fail

or last forever, havent figured that out yet?

she: no, i'm all for anything goes in the bedroom when you're with someone you trust implicitly

he: i agree, but

but

but

she: but but but

he: hear me out

she: lol

he: with girls 'anything goes' always comes with consequences'

we're always being judged.

shut up, yes you are

:)

she: hmmmmmmm

he: that means i'm right, but you're trying to justify it

she: no, i think it should be a win win

there's no reason why it shouldn't be, sex is like everything else, you have to compromise sometimes, i guess

i mean, if a chick really hates the taste of it or has a bad gag reflex, then yeah, don't swallow

but don't act like you're too good for it

he: i wanna believe you, i really do. and, i trust what you say. but you wanna impress your girlfriends as much as you wanna impress the man.

when they collide, what wins?

she: wait, what does that mean exactly

you want to impress chicks as much as i want to impress a dude

he: k, let me rephrase.

no

she: or i want to impress my girlfriends

he: yes

she: nope, that's where you're wrong

he: sex, alot of the time, is about winning. who can make the other want it more

she: when girls talk about sex, it's not about one-upping each other

it's more about making sure we're not weird, lol

he: lol

that's odd

she: and finding like-minded people who look at sex the way we do

yeah, we don't one-up each other

it's like "um, he did this, and it was not good"

lol

or "he did this, and after I got over the fact it was kind of out of the ordinary, i actually liked it, DOES THAT MEAN I'M A FREAK?"

That is how sex talk goes with me and my girlfriends

he: guys do that opposite... hey, look at the freak i fucked and what she did

she: yeah, i know

but we don't try to outslut each other

lol

we try to underslut each other, i think

he: lol

she: i mean, a typical conversation with one of my girls goes

so, the other night, so and so and i were doing it, and i had the urge to do such and such. is there something wrong with me?

and my friends always say, "no, that's normal"

lol

he: odd. deep down, dont you wanna outslut each other?

she: no, we don't want to be sluts, dumbass, you don't listen, lol

he: lol

let me rephrase

you don't want to be considered sluts when you do slutty things

she: if we do slutty things, we don't want the person getting the slut action to think we do that with everyone

he: ahhh, i see

make the guy feel special

she: because most of my friends are like me, into serial monogamy

if i'm naked with him, he's special. period.

girls go through a phase where they will try to impress in bed to get the guy to like them more

that was my early 20's

lol

i don't do that anymore

i'm going to do what i like, if he likes it, awesome, if not, say so

he: i get the feeling you're riled up now

she: lolol

he: take a drink and calm down

:)

i need to slow down, starting to get hammered. lol

she: i'm a little insulted at feeling like you are generalizing, not that i don't do that ever, but damn you, I'm perfect and wonderful in every way, lol

he: lol

i know you are

she: women should never do anything sexually if they aren't comfortable with it

he: but, i know women, and you're making me feel like i dont dammit

haha

she: not as well as you think you do

he: i agree.

she: and i don't even pretend to understand men, lol

he: lol

she: i just assume yeah, you're going to go tell everyone what happened the next day

he: of course, everything except how much i payed

she: there's just a huge difference between casual sex and committed sex in my mind

lolol

he: huge difference, we agree there

she: so each situation is different, you know?

i mean, if i've been with someone for ages, and they really, really want to spooge on my face

he: yeah, it is.

she: i'd think about it

i would do it

but if the situation wasn't that serious

i'd tell him to take his goggles and shove them up his ass

:)

oh fuck it, i have trust issues

lol

he: what if they anted to splooge on your boobs, and you'd been togethe a couple of times?

she: lololol

you know, it honestly just depends on the situation, it really does

he: i'm sure it does

she: but i'm going to err on the side of NO to that one, lol.

everyone is perverted in their own ways, and i'm just hesitant to let anyone know just how and where i am

i am pretty guarded about that, lol

he: lol, you've let it out pretty good here

she: pfft, this is nothing

he: the fact that you swallow is huge in TN

lol

she: lololol

that's the blog title

swallowing is huge in tn

i mean, this is me we're talking about

i won't eat hardly anything

i can't even do a shot properly

but swallow? totally got that.

he: if this is nothing, i wanna hear a total freak story. off the record.

*totally not going in the blog, even we have boundaries*

she: lolol

ugh, so, let's wrap up the spit swallow thing

we need a tidy lesson learned here, lol

he: k

she: cause we have to work tomorrow, lol

he: my lesson is that girls think swallowing is something special, and should be acknowledged as such. ALWAYS!

she: oh my god, now you're just posturing

lol

he: lol

that's why i leave the lessons learned up to you

she: as long as you don't spit it back in a guy's face, it's all good

there ya go, lesson learned

he: that's sooooo true

:)

she: run for the bathroom, use it as moisturizer, spread it on his chest and peel it off later, whatever, just don't spit it in his face

he: or save it in a jar for his birthday

she: because he probably hasn't moved past the fact you're naked yet :)

he: HOT

she: "oh god, hold on, i gotta text my buds"

he: "you're gonna tell your girlfriend how big i am, aren't u"

she: wait, will you kiss a girl after she's swallowed?

he: always.... otherwise she feels dirty

always

she: what's good for the goose...yep, you're a good man, lol

he: duh

she: really, seriously, dudes who are like "EWWWW!" Yeah, sorry, god made us taste better than you, but deal with it. I guess this is what we get for that whole apple fiasco.

he: yeah, if your gonna swallow what i wont touch without a towel then i'll be more than happy to pleasure your mouth with my tounge

or something like that

lol

she: lmfao

that sounds like an ancient chinese proverb

he: confucious says

he who lets his soul be swallowed should also let his manhood challenged

lol

she: in bed

he: LMAO

she: sorry, thought it was a fortune cookie

lol

he: it totally ws

she: ok, i'm outtie

i'll cut and paste and whatever that it is i do tomorrow or tuesday

he: alright

she: and send it to you

he: cool

she: thank you dr. stoli, i will sleep well

lol

g'night dear

lol

he: loves u bitch

she: loves you too dick, lol

Going Back and Going Home

he: mile high club? member or no?
she: i live in denver, so yes
lol
he: plane wise
lol
she: no
he: me too
dang.
she: i haven't been on a really long flight in a really long time
he: truth or super truth?
she: oooh, super truth
he: ohhhhh
k
what's ur ultimate goal from your reunion weekend?
she: hmm
he: remember... super truth
she: thinking
he: lol
she: probably to have any dude who rejected my adoration to spend at least a week kicking theirselves really, really hard
he: lame... everyone wants that
she: ultimate goal for reunion weekend
this is even lamer
he: it doesn't have to be dirty
just true
but, dirty is better
lol
she: make peace with anyone i did something bad to in high school
he: how, my name is earl of you
she: yeah, there's really no on in my graduating class on my "wish I had done so I should do it while I'm here" list
he: who did you treat badly?
she: not sure, but some people i have been in touch with, i remember being really close to, and there has been a little standoffishness, you know?
he: eh, that's how girls are
she: but i know the whole growing apart thing had alot to do with my hibernating because all of the shit i went through, and just letting connections die
not just with girls
he: going to my 20th reunion changed my life in a really good way
i've been much happier since i went
she: what was your ultimate goal?
he: my ultimate goal was to show off my success to all the jerks that hated me in HS (total cliche' i know)
but they were all to pathetic to rub it in
she: lol
he: and, i rediscovered so many special people i lost touch with, that make me feel like i have real friends who care about me and think like me and have problems like me and who deal with life like me
and that makes me so very happy
how gay is that
she: that's what i'm hoping for
it's not remotely gay
i mean, look at me and you, thank you MySpace!
he: true
she: we weren't close in high school, we should have been, because yeah, we're birds of a feather and what not
and there are some people like that for me
alot of people like that, that knew me when i was 17 and floundering around
who kind of know the real me under everything else the last 20 years has thrown at me
he: In 20 years i'm glad that i still have ** and ***** ****** in my life. and have people that treat me like they're lucky to have me as a friend. i treasure that
she: i'm trying to think of who all falls in that category for me
he: plus the ** and ** who still think i'm funny
you'll be the hit of the reunion, trust me
she: you always were funny, you were one of the few people who knew who they were and seemed so comfortable in their own skin
kind of intimidated me, actually, i didn't think i was cool enough to be your friend
really, lol
he: lol
she: i didn't know who the fuck i was then
he: yeah. you're independent. 90% of the people we knew thought they had to be married preggo and live in ckvl for their whole life
she: i skipped the preggo part, lol
** has a lifetime friend pass from me, we met when i was 9 and she was 10
he: i cant imagine one person in that room saying anything that would get to you. and, 99% of the people there will be jealous of that
she: um, ok, lol
he: lol
she: ***** and i were close, and i love her
***** and I were close, and I can not wait to see her, we kept in touch pretty good until 2002, when my mom died and i fell off the face of the earth again
*** and I have unfinished business
i honestly have good memories of just about everyone, even people i didn't like, i can look back and be like "oh, silly me"
but not everyone, lol
yeah, i'm pretty much ready for anything, one stupid comment and i'll make someone look like an ass without batting an eyelash
and then i'll come home and BLOG, lol
he: dont. for real. Just go and be fabulous like you are and have fun and wait for the friends to flock to you.
i was apprehensive
but if i didnt go i'd probably be a much different person right now
she: i need it, i need closure, oddly enough
he: brb, tinkle
she: ok, i'll type
there is one friend who i was very close to, and she and i had a falling out over something really, really stupid
and i'm sure it was mostly my fault, but i was young and stupid
so i was thrilled to find her on facebook, and was honestly looking forward to the whole reminiscing and laughing thing
but she was kinda standoffish, so i guess that's not going to happen, lol
brb, must pee too
he: best toast ever, is also the lamest toast ever...
"here's to those who wish me well, and all the rest can go to hell"
very telling and true. good name for a blog
she: best toast ever? lol
and that will probably be my hs reunion blog title, thank you, thank you vedddy much
knowing it was a good experience for you makes me feel so much better about it
bueller
did i screw up google chat again?
he: lol
hows that?
she: yay, lol
he: it's not really the best toast, but the sentiment kinda describes my outlook
she: it's just
i didn't actually graduate, my senior year story is all sorts of fractured and fucked up
and i just know someone is going to be stupid enough to bring up the fact i didn't technically graduate
he: same here, remember my civics fiasco
she: and then i'm going to have to challenge them to trivial pursuit and kick their ass
I TESTED OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL YOU ASSHOLE
lol
what happened with civics?
he: we'll partner up and Dominate!
she: ok
lol
he: i got suspended for 3 days for sleeping(5th period, last semester, senior year)
she: lolol
he: and missed a test that brought my grade for the semester down to a 68.5
didn't graduate by 1 pt(required class)
she: oh wow
he: had to go to summer school
and, have never seen my diploma
she: thank you god, i am not alone
lol
we make pretty good money for peeps with no diploma, would you agree? lol
anyway, here's to no diploma * cheers *
DRINK
he: woo ho
hoo
doh'
she: i just really hated the school part of school
he: need vodka, empty
she: k
he: u and me both. i think that's why we 'get' each other and can say whatever we want. we were meant to help each other.
she: awww...i think you're right
school, like church, is something i don't understand getting up at 7am for
not sure how i lasted 7 years in the military
oh yeah, threat of jail
i think you and i are the people that usually don't candycoat life situations, we don't delude ourselves alot, we're pretty honest with ourselves and everyone else
and i don't think everyone is capable of that
he: nope, and those who are capable of it are much more likely to be happy in their own skin. I say that knowing i have many flaws
lol
she: lol
i have flaws, i'll point them out before anyone else can, i rock at that, lol
pseudo self-deprecation
he: lol, awesome self defense mechanism
she: eh, i know i'm a good person, and a good friend to those who are good friends to me, and everyone else?
eh, fuck 'em, lol
he: it's like i wrote that myself. :)
she: by your toast, and all, lol
i think the pre-reunion thing at spankies is going to be the most fun
i need to get a smaller point and shoot camera before my trip
he: yeah will. mucho jackassery that needs to be documented
she: oh, we will be so ready for jackassery, i cannot wait
he: i'll have a vodka and cran waiting for you at the terminal
she: that will be fabulous with the valium, lol
hey, we should go out on Thursday night in Nashville and send out word on Facebook to Nashville peeps to join us
he: yup, remind me to laugh at how pathetic **** is as every chance
she: lolol
he: hell ya
Decades
she: wow
ugh
i really don't have anyone i dislike alot
except ** at the moment, lol
he: 90's upstairs 80's downstairs
lol
she: Oh, you weren't making a time reference, my bad
OK, I am SO in, lol
he: 1 block down is a karaoke bar
she: uh oh
lol
i love me some karaoke
i am really, really, really bad
he: and there's a coyote ugly close
she: do i get to dance on the bar?
he: ill only insist
she: lol
he: i'll hold your panties while u do
she: was there any one person you were dreading to see at the reunion? supertruth
you assume i'll be wearing panties, HA HA!
jk, probably will, lol
he: :-) no, i was looking forward to shoving my success into the faces of those who hated me. i was humbled quickly and got along with everyone famously. i felt bad i was apprehensive
it was an incredible night
for real
she: i guess i'm just bracing myself for cattiness, but not looking for it, you know?
if it's there, i'll deal with it, if not, awesome
i know it's going to be great, i know it's something i absolutely have to do
i was ridiculously giddy when i bought my plane ticket, lol
he: talk to ** about it. i'm sure that would be a better reference than me
lol. i know that feeling
she: i have so many memories of so many people, from even pre-school and beyond, i probably have a silly story about everyone
he: they all have silly stories about me, but i wont hide from them. that's why i'm strong
she: i have been told stories about me that i don't remember at all
he: not like mma strong, but brainiacally strong
she: lmao
he: me too
lol
she: yeah, there's alot of things i can't deny, and won't
i'm not embarrassed or ashamed of anything, i don't think
he: ohhh, i heard of a cool website.(ADD kicking in).
6dollartshirts.com
she: it's cool, we've been on the same topic for like a whole hour, lol
oh god, i want to su suss sussudio one
for the american psycho reference alone
he: LOL!!!!!!!

The LOL Blogs: Dare, Truth, Dare

she: oh, the way, by i made good on our dare
i did give a dude my number
he: so did i
she: a dude?
lol
he: lol
she: and he called
he: yeah?
she: and he's an asshole, lol
he: lol
she: which i kind of figured what with him deciding to try and make out with me on the dance floor 15 minutes after we met
but i had to be sure
he: mine showed her bi polar within 24 hrs
she: well, at least our early warning radar works
he: yes
she: i had a wingwoman with me to help decide he was an asshole
he: yeah, u told me last week
she: see, i'm old, i don't remember shit
he: when u kissed him back cause that's what your mom would want you to do
she: lololol
no
i decided it was better to kiss him than punch him and make a scene
he: btw, your new blog was sad. you're not all emo. the stories are great though
she: awww
i'm not feeling emo lately
i don't know what happened, i had all these things i wanted to blog about
he: how come?
she: and now i just don't feel like it
i have no idea
sometimes i'm just more emotionally and feely than other times
he: it happens we all become creatively lackadaisical every now and then
she: oh, i will, i just haven't gotten emotional about anything recently
give me a week, lol
he: lol
she: shit, i pounded out two in one night, surely i can do that again
he: i haven't written one in a week and a half

*she tells story about object of affection that is exhibiting contradicting behavior which is not available for public consumption because she is a big chickenshit*

he: yeah, you intimidate him. he'd end up accusing u of cheating on him all the time
she: you think?
he: oh, i know
she: oh shit
why am i so intimidating? i don't get that
that just sounds like bullshit
he: you're not intimidating. but weak men don’t like when a girl can dish it out
she: but i really don't think he's weak, comparatively
i guess maybe he thought i was implying he was stupid, and i wasn't
my bad
he: and when they think they're smarter and sexy. they think they aren't good enough and are convinced every time you go out without them you're gonna hook up with 10 dudes
she: hmm, i married that
i divorced that
he: starting to notice some similarities?
she: i attract insecure guys because while they love my confidence and assertiveness
it also intimidates the fuck out of them
i'm convinced we're attracted to people who have qualities we wish we had but don't think we have
he: that's what i just said.
she: and i think i'm all that, i have no problem with self esteem, fucking great, lol.
he: dont change that about yourself! it's not a flaw
she: it seems like it, i don't want to dumb myself down
or turn myself down, for anyone
he: don't
i've done that and hated myself
for it
she: i'm too set in my ways now
i mean, i can see changing things about me that aren't good, like the smoking thing
like, here

*another story not for public consumption, lol*

he: lol, it's okay. i know this one

he was intimidated by you. but trying to play it off. i'm guessing he's only had sex once. but has a lot of 'girl friends'
she: oh man
lol
but then there is the total opposite
this dude who called me
he was a walking, talking personal fan club of one
which is the difference between confident and arrogant
he: ahhh, the classic let me compliment her into bed, because i dont have anything smart or interesting to say.
he probably will agree with every thing u say
she: no no, he wasn’t complimenting me, he was all about himself
he was the best player on his flag football team, the best insurance salesman ever, blah blah blah
he: ahhh
she: didn't ask much about me at all
he: a tool
she: there ya go
he: they're open books and deserve to be blue balled
she: and he called at 8pm on a saturday night to see what i was doing...that night
so yeah
cool, i thought so, i figured my judgment was right there
thus my problem
attracted to him
but didn't LIKE him
when the fuck did that start to matter, DAMMIT, lol
i mean, seriously, with your exploits, is liking her an absolute must, or optional? lol
he: casual sex is not a taboo. it's okay to embrace animal instincts every once and a while
she: it would have been great if he was mute
with my luck, we'd probably be doing it and he'd shout out how awesome he was
that was a sex and the city episode, I know it..
he: never watched that show
she: lots of boobies
he: okay, i fast forwarded through a few
she: lol
he: the only hot one to me was the brunette
she: charlotte, lol
he: the slut was cool though
she: i would have liked to look like charlotte, but dress like carrie
he: lol
she: so seriously, how much do you have to like a chick to actually do her
what if she's really hot, but she's a real bitch
just sneak out in the morning before she wakes up?
or while she's in the bathroom the same night, immediately after? :)
he: sometimes being a bitch is hot
lol
she: well, true, but not the hot kind how's that
brb, must pee
he: okay, here's the 'real deal'
k
me too actually
she: k
talk, i'll be back
he: i've fucked a lot of girls that i'd never tell anyone about, i've fucked a lot of girls that were way out of my league. Those were easy, when i don’t give a fuck i'm very loose and charming. it's like, what do i have to lose
when it comes to girls that are 'my type' or i'm really infatuated with, i fuck it up really fast.
usually i end up being friends with them, cause in my brain i think. having a cool ass friend would be better than me getting rejected
she: wow
i don't think that deep
he: so, sex is not a problem. love is
she: wow, i might kind of be the opposite
how do you fuck it up?
he: it's easy to do.
i'm a very good empathizer.
it's not fake, i'm very genuine
but, most girls are attracted to assholes, and i'm not an asshole
and not gonna pretend to be one
so we become 'friends'
then, i've already fucked it up
she: ok, i used to be that girl
and then i learned recently
an asshole is an asshole no matter how cute he is
no, i don't think it's you doing the fuck it up thing
he: and those drunk moments when i could make a move and i know it would work
i back off because, i'm too nice a guy
she: but, and this is from my recent experience, what if she's just as scared as you?
he: see, here's my cunundrum
and proving my point
last call girls... easy.
hot young girls i could give a shit about.... easy
a girl i really like, relate to and wanna impress..... all i can think of is fuck, i've got this gut an double chin
it's a mental block
she: i have that mental block, i do
he: i'm a confident guy who's comfortable in my own skin
but i have a built in self-cock-block
that i cant work past
she: this is definitely why god created alcohol
he: i guess i'm afraid of love
she: i think you're afraid of not being loved back
maybe
he: maybe
she: i'm afraid of someone not returning my feelings, and it sucks
but i'd rather know than not know sometimes
i just hate being the one to put everything on the table first
he: maybe i am too
haven’t thought of that
she: because it is weird, if i tell this guy, again, that hey, i like you, we need to get to know each other better, and he isn't interested
then it's gonna be weird, but someone I don't see often, i can put it all out there and prepare for the worst
he: for sure
she: and what if he's thinking the same thing
he: i've got 5 girls at work i could describe the same way
except i never molested them at last call
;)
she: lol
he didn't molest me
it was very sweet, actually, lol
eh, eventually i'll tell him
before the end of the summer
he: dare you
she: damn you, lol
ok, i'm outty
i'll drunk text you tomorrow from trivia
he: u better
sext me too@!
!
lol
she: i'll try, lol