* lol *

surpregirl: hello? is this thing on?
me: Yeah is
surpregirl: yay
me: if you click the arrow pointing up and to the right you get a bigger box
huhu bigger box
surpregirl: lol
ok, i did that
me: ha ha just logged me out
and when it logs me out chat moves to blackberry and i have to close that out to open it
back up on here
that wore me out
lol
surpregirl: gadget’s fault
lol
i say lol so fucking much when i'm on this thing, it's really, really sad
just so you know
me: i'd LOL but then i'd feel stupid
surpregirl: i had to physically restrain myself from typing it then
me: lol
d'oh!
surpregirl: HA, see
me: i say let the lol's fly
surpregirl: and they will, they sooooo will
me: it's a new acronym
or relatively new
surpregirl: less than ten years old
it’s a minor
me: we need to invent a drink called LOL
surpregirl: it would have to have wine in it, wine makes me ridiculous
and makes everything funny
me: it will 'tickle your tastebuds'
surpregirl: heh
i say heh every now and then to change up the lol
me: how about tequilla, milk and red bull. cause just the thought of that makes me lol
surpregirl: that makes me want to throw up, lol
but hey, look, it worked sorta
me: ooh, white zin and red bull
surpregirl: what would orange juice and jager taste like?
me: it's called a tootsie roll
surpregirl: lol
me: and tastes just like one
surpregirl: figured there was a name for it already
me: i swear
surpregirl: it sounds really gross
me: wait, that's kahlua and OJ
oops
surpregirl: ewww
me: jager and OJ, is not a real drink yet
surpregirl: hmm
me: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080320031620AALDDtm
surpregirl: if i had jager, i'd try it, just to have an opinion
me: i loooooove jager
surpregirl: jager is the only liquor i can drink as a shot in one shot
otherwise, i have to sip
me: sissy
surpregirl: pretty much yeah
i had a bartender add more cranberry to my jug o vodka a couple of weeks ago
and he called me a pussy
and I'm like
DUH
me: and it was a well deserved pussy call
me: u did shots of vodka when i was there all at once
surpregirl: did I? omg, i totally fucking forgot about that
i don't think i did vodka shots, you did
i was drinking cran and vodka
but maybe your memory is better than mine, lol
me: yeah you chased the vodka shot with vodka and cranberry
surpregirl: oh wow
lol
me: it's all good, you kept your clothes on. lol
surpregirl: amazing, damn
i may not remember what i say or what i drank or where i go
but i always remember what I do, lol
me: lol
surpregirl: lol
ok
lol
speaking of blogs
me: i may try to work in a few lolz
surpregirl: i heard something on the radio this morning
a topic, perhaps
or rolz
me: isn't that what u call ecstasy?
surpregirl: like i'd know lol
surpregirl: they were talking about who pays for the first date or dates
and blah blah chivalry blah blah blah
me: whoever does the asking
surpregirl: yes, but forever?
me: no
as much as women wanna cry chivalry blah blah....
if you mention 'dutch'
it's a turnoff
100% of the time
surpregirl: true
during the courting phase which lasts how long
until the clothes come off?
sad but true
say...
five dates
(exaggerating)
me: what if the 1st date is after you actually already hooked up?
surpregirl: then it's retroactive and the dude pays?
:)
at that point, i guess it's a formality
me: whoever hosted the hookup, doesn't pay
surpregirl: lololol
wow, we need to write a whole new "Rules" book
me: hell ya
surpregirl: for the "been there done that" crowd
well, i guess if you've already hooked up
me: if the girl makes more money than the guy, you should take turns
surpregirl: totally
me: but not keep up with whose turn it is
argue about it a little for show
surpregirl: lol
but what if you don't know how much money the other person makes yet, i don't talk
about that usually ever
lol
me: yeah, but you have an idea, when you know what they do
surpregirl: i guess if he's driving a '78 gremlin held together by duct tape, that should be
a clue, eh?
me: lol
'administrative assistant' = less than 30k
surpregirl: lol
me: unless she's doing the boss
surpregirl: i was just going to say that
lol
because here's the thing
i don't usually go on a date with some dude unless I'm pretty sure i really, really like him
because when I was younger, my mom insisted I go out on a date with this nice, well off
dude who was a little older than me
i don't know what she was thinking
"he asked you out, you go out with that boy"
like i'm supposed to be grateful
me: lol
surpregirl: she was obviously trying to direct my attention away from a loser
i didn't like him, but i went out with him
he took me to nashville, to a really nice restaurant
me: did you order the most expensive thing?
surpregirl: no, lol and at the end of the night he kissed me, and i didn't want to kiss him,
but i did, because i felt like i owed him
ewww. no tongue, but still, lol
me: you felt like you owed him?
surpregirl: and i'm like THANKS MOM
yeah
how fucked up is that? got your dr. phil hat handy?
me: that's classic, yeah he blacked my eye but i over-cooked the roast
surpregirl: wow
me: lol
surpregirl: i obviously have a hard time letting people do nice things for me for the sake
of it
i just don't like owing anyone
me: i was making an exaggerated analogy
surpregirl: oh god, i think i'll be using those 3 free shrink sessions at work, lol
me: lol
wouldn't you think he owed you for letting him be around you for a few hours?
surpregirl: well, 15 years ago no
NOW, yes, lol
well, i've extended you the pleasure of adoring me, we are EVEN
lol
good night
air kiss
me: i will give you the pleasure now of watching me walk away
surpregirl: lolol
i think match.com and internet dating has kind of changed things up a bit
because i think if you do meet someone you met on there, it's a meet and greet, and it's
dutch, period
although the few times i did do that, the men insisted on paying
and i'm thinking "you'll never see me again because you look like my dad, but ok"
me: yeah you've usually seen each others naughty bits before you even met, thanks to
webcam
surpregirl: you have a webcam? HA HA HA HA HA
you are brave
lol
me: i'm not scared.
surpregirl: i know so many people who do have one
me: love me dammit, we're doing this on my terms!
surpregirl: i do not
lol
i'm obviously a holdover from the victorian era
* adjusts corset*
me: i've been called arrogant 3 times this week. all in a nice way
odd
chicken shit
surpregirl: you're not arrogant, you're confident, huge difference
me: i know!
that's why the arrogant deal stuck in my mind
surpregirl: insecure people would say arrogant
me: jerks
surpregirl: pretty much
who were they? people whose opinions you actually cared about? or people who don't
even know you
me: i need vodka, brb
surpregirl: me too
me: then i’ll spill it
surpregirl: me too
removing cell phone from table
me: why's that?
surpregirl: in case i spill
me: ahhh
surpregirl: i'm clumsy, this is why i don't wear white much either
me: got ya
lol
******* was one, but i knew she didn't mean it bad.
A dude at work, told me he loved my arrogance.
and i dont remember the 3rd one
ill think of it sometime
surpregirl: hmm
webster says
exaggerating or disposed to exaggerate one's own worth or importance often by an
overbearing manner
me: i do exude an overbearing manner at times, but it's because i'm usually right
surpregirl: and i totally understand that, lol
i'm trying to think of anyone i would describe as arrogant
i can think of people who are narcissistic
and snooty
but not arrogant
as per webster
me: i'm narcissistic to the core
surpregirl: you don't make everything about you
me: webster, is there any word he doesn't know
surpregirl: fucktard
me: that one goes in the book
surpregirl: yep, doesn't have that one
me: everything is not about me, but when it's not i get bored easily
surpregirl: i think i do too
me: i think it's okay to be a little narcissistic, otherwise you get walked all over
or let dudes stick their tounges down your throat because they bought a you a steak
surpregirl: i finally got over that, just sayin, lol
now it's 'take me to long john silver's and i might hold your hand'
kidding
i'd totally put out for ljs
me: u'd totally put out for long johns
surpregirl: shhh, lol
surpregirl: wow, actually, webster says narcissistic means
love of or sexual desire for one's own body
heh heh heh
lmao
me: what if i favor one part of my body more than the rest?
surpregirl: well, you're a dude, Freud would say you're supposed to
me: doh!
surpregirl: i like my boobs but i haven't build a shrine to them or anything
worship does occur in the general area occasionally, not by me
me: yes, but
i bet you think that you can 'stimulate' yourself better than anyone else
at least quicker
surpregirl: well, yeah, i'm most familiar with the equipment
me: see, same with the dudes
surpregirl: i've had access to it forever
lol
me: cept it does our thinking most of the time
okay, all of the time
surpregirl: how does the little head override the big head? gimme a real world situation
me: sitting at a red light and in the car in front of you, you catch cleavage i the car in
front of you's rear view mirror.
then the light turns green
and you dont go
another, better one
surpregirl: ok
me: walking the halls at work. 1000 people work in my building, some of them have
quite the nice view from behind.
i've taken alternate routes to keep up with the view
surpregirl: omg
i wore this killer dress to work a couple of weeks ago
and i went to lunch with two of the dudes i work with
and i thought it was weird they kept walking behind me
now i get it, lol
me: oh yeah
that's how opening the door for a woman was invented!
surpregirl: because of the little head, nice!
and opening the car door is so you can obviously look down her shirt
me: or stand when talking while she sits
surpregirl: lol
i think women are much more stealth and subconscious
like, if i'm talking to a guy i'm attracted to, i'll find a reason to touch him
me: yes, which brings me to my next point
Subconsciously women know this about men, but don’t realize it because their mind is
not always thinking about sex.
surpregirl: yes, we're obviously thinking about nesting or something gay like that
me: that's why the most surefire way to score a chick in a bar is to just look her in the
eyes.
the less you talk to the boobs, the more you get to play with them
surpregirl: yeah, cause we're like DOES HE NOT SEE THE GIRLS ON DISPLAY
HERE? WTF?
that is a brilliant, and very true, point
it's like banking boob stock
me: yup. you're flattered when a guy talks to the boobs, but subconsciencly(?) to you,
he's not interested in your mind
and that makes you mad at him
surpregirl: it's a double edged sword
me: yep, that's why i always make it a point to let her catch me glancing when we are not
talking to each other
surpregirl: and it does show some form of self control
me: correct
me: like she's with friends talking while i'm getting drinks, i'm far enough away to see
her, and she's interested because she's letting me see her. then i check out the boobs
when she thinks i think shes talking to her friend
surpregirl: smooooooooth
surpregirl: it just amuses me guys think about this stuff
because you know we do
i don't know if my mom told me this, or i figured it out, but if you're going out, either
show leg or boob, not both
me: i've never heard that one. makes sense though
surpregirl: unless you're going for slutty, then show both
me: strippers show both
see, though
but i know she knows i'm looking. so she's flattered, then when i look her in the eye face
to face.....
it's just a matter of asking then
lol
surpregirl: well, here's the thing
we know you've notice we're chicks
mission accomplished
and then it's like "but i'm a smart chick, and that should count"
me: i know.
it's all part of the game
surpregirl: and it's always a damn game. sigh. lol
me: i try to make you think i'm smart, therefore taking your mind off my spare tire
surpregirl: lol
me: of course its a game. life is a game
that’s why everyones loves at least one sport
surpregirl: the game of life ha ha
me: lol
surpregirl: it's totally strategy
me: what's red and smells like paint?
surpregirl: do i really want to know?
me: red paint
surpregirl: oh geeze
lol

Letters, we get letters...

Wow, a question submitted by reader mail. I don't think we knew we had reader mail. We totally do. SWEET!

READER MAIL: Can you love two people at one time?

She says: Don’t you watch “The Bachelor”? Of course you can! Usually, it only happens when you’re followed 24-7 by a film crew, and all your super hot make out sessions in the hot tub are put on television for the whole world to see, and then when you do choose one person you’re in love with the mostest, it only lasts for about six months, at which point you get dumped on national tv for the 2^nd runner up and then go on to kick ass on “Dancing With The Stars.”

In the real world, when it comes to boy-girl relations, I think you can love than two people at a time, but I don’t think I’ve ever been IN LOVE with more than one person at a time. There’s a huge difference between love as a noun and love as a verb, and for me, I can only love as a verb one guy at a time. Luckily, I’ve never been in the situation where I had to choose. I hope that streak continues.

He says: Yes, if you don’t mind paying double.

Lesson learned: NONE, lol.

The Obama Administration – is it living up to the hype?

He says: it’s too early. Yeah, he’s giving us hope, save those morons at Notre Dame. Love how he drinks beer, cant live without his Crackberry, and openly proclaims he’ll fight for Gay marriage and a woman’s right to choose. He talks straight and that scares ‘politicians’ and I like that. And, he doesn’t make excuses. So he’s already accomplished more in 3 months than Bush did in 8 years. But still, it’s too early. There’s still plenty for Keith Olberman to get mad about. Hell, Dick Cheney made this a fun news week! Did I mention it’s still too early?

She says: Yes. Maybe it is just me, but I feel a lot less hopeless now that he’s president. Maybe it’s because the economy is showing signs of life, maybe it’s because I don’t have to hear words like “Stratergery” or hear about Saddam Hussein terrorizing himself, or maybe it’s because I’m just so proud our country collectively came together to create some kind of change. The only negative I can see at this point is that Saturday Night Live is not going to be quite as good, unless Biden is nice enough to give them something to work with. Obama doesn’t really have any chinks in his armor. I guess Andy Samberg needs to work on some more skits with Justin Timberlake over the next 8 years to keep things interesting. I haven’t watched Keith Olbermann hardly at all since the election, either, because it seems like he probably doesn’t have much to get pissed off about, and he’s really hot when he’s incensed. No sense in bashing Republicans when they’re still trying to figure out what went wrong. Wait, is he still doing that? ‘Cause I’ll tune in.

Lesson Learned: Sara needs to watch Keith Olbermann because there are obviously still plenty of things for him to be pissed about. Al means it’s still too early in the administration and not too early in the morning to discuss it.

Fuckbuddies: Friends or Foes?

She says: It’s a great idea in theory, but I’ve never seen it work in practice. Mostly because I truly believe men and women are built differently. Personally, if I continue to get naked with someone, I’m going to get emotionally attached, because I wouldn’t be getting naked with someone I didn’t like a lot to begin with. I see a lot of women accept the fuckbuddy role because they think it’s going to evolve into something a little more substantial, and it rarely does. I married my first fuckbuddy. That obviously didn’t end well. I’m sure there are plenty of women who do it, and I know tons of men do it, but my heart and mind are tied to my nethers, so there is no chance of success. History has proven this. Sex still means too much to me to just do it without thinking of the consequences, even though when I’m in Vegas, I tend to forget that, lol.

He Says: I’m torn on this, cause I’ve made it work. I mean, it was better than no sex at all. I’ve done it where it was just sex, no kissing (hated it). I’ve tried it where she liked me more than I liked her. I’ve tried it where I liked her more than she liked me. I’m gonna go the other way with this. I believe, in order for it to work, you have to not really like each other; but, have mutual attraction. There’s something that’s dirty and wild about 2 people fucking that everyone else seems to think to hate each other. We’ve all fucked that person once in our lives, just because.

Lesson Learned: Sex without kissing, it’s not just for prostitutes anymore.

If you have any burning questions, regardless of subject matter, political correctness, or relevance to anything in particular, send them to us at: menarefromfacebook@yahoo.comor womenarefrommyspace@yahoo.com. Bring it on!

Walkin' Talkin' Stereotypes

We all do it, whether we admit it or not, even if it's just in our heads. But why do we stereotype? To quote somebody...."The scientific evidence is that the primary function of stereotypes is what researchers very prettily call 'the reality function'. That is, stereotypes are useful tools for dealing with the world."

Here's the result of sitting around, enjoying adult beverages, and "dealing with the world" and wondering - any validity to this stereotype thing? Besides the fact we used stereotypical red for a female viewpoint and stereotypical blue for a male viewpoint?


STEREOTYPE #1: A man’s self-confidence is directly related to the size of his penis.


She says: This is one of those things that I don’t understand because I don’t have the equipment. I’ve dated guys who really wanted to know how endowed my previous lover was, and I’ve dated guys who never thought to ask and didn’t seem to care. Honestly, I usually forget the old one when I get access to a new one. You could put all the penises I’ve known in a lineup and I probably couldn’t tell you which one belonged to whom. You hear things about men “overcompensating” and assuming it’s because they think they have a small package. Since I’ve never met a penis that couldn’t do the job well, I think this is ridiculous and have a hard time believing it’s true. The only way I know to equate it is by thinking of my breasts this way. I’m pretty happy with the size of my boobs, sometimes I’ve wished they were bigger, sometimes I’ve wished they were smaller. But I never really worry about whether or not a guy is comparing them to previous breasts or future breasts, because I’m pretty sure he’s just happy I’m naked. Why can’t men think that way?


He says: Self confidence can be related to the size of his penis. But so can weight, hair, job, clothes, etc. I’ve never once asked any girl about another man’s penis, but I have had girlfriends ‘friends’ look at me twice because my girl was talking about me. So, I’m not buying that it doesn’t completely matter. Now, I’d rather have a girl look at my penis than my gut, but that doesn’t make me more or less self confident except when I rip my pants on the dance floor. Truth time 90% of the time any type of guy can make any woman believe he’s a stud just by looking her in the eye and talking with confidence. Now, 90% of guys get distracted by cleavage or an apple bottom and tend to talk to a woman’s neck or lips so he can still sneak glances. What he doesn’t realize is that he could probably see the whole package with a little eye contact. You’re right on guys not comparing breasts, cause at the moment we see them, they’re the only thing in the world that matters.

Lesson learned: Confidence is an inny, not an outy.


STEREOTYPE #2: Guys that care about their appearance and are clean, must be gay.


He says: Wrong wrong wrong. I am that guy, and I don’t even remotely crave the cock. People have thought it, and that doesn’t bother me. What bothers me is the people who like to say ‘he’s gay, he just doesn’t know it.’ Again, false. I cant say that there is 0% chance that man won’t ever someday make me go gaga. But, it hasn’t happened yet. Yet, I’m gaga over most of the cool women I meet. I think it’s men’s insecurities that lead them to say this. I don’t mind admitting that I know a lot of guys wish they were more like me, maybe not physically, but emotionally and socially. And, the women who say that are just as shallow as the men who talk to their boobs. And, are always the ones who brag about making men do what they want, so I think there’s some intimidation there too. Now, bring on the whores!


She says: Totally don’t think so. I had my first “metro” experience early, and he used more hair products than I did, but holy shit, he smelled good, and he was not not not not gay. Vanity is not just for women anymore. I’m actually to the point where if I meet a guy with really dirty fingernails and who doesn’t care about his appearance in other ways, I automatically think he must not have a lot of respect for himself. Maybe that’s twisted. Everything has changed in the past 50 years – if women can do the same jobs men can, then men can be a little vain. Clinique and Avon have skin care lines for men – it’s officially OK!! Anyone who doesn’t realize this obviously lives under a rock. Or somewhere really close to where we grew up. Being secure means not being threatened by other people’s choices, and when people are threatened by you, yeah, they look for any reason to tear you down to make themselves feel more secure but rarely have the balls to say it to your face. I’m all for men being clean and smelling good and caring about how they look at what they wear, and that Garnier stuff you suggested? FUCKING ROCKS. Plus, the fact men shower and care about their hygiene means I’m not greeted by foul-ball smell in intimate situations. :)

Lesson learned: The men who make fun of guys who look and smell good by suggesting that they're gay are probably sporting small penises.


STEREOTYPE #3: PMS isn’t real.

She says: You bleed one week out of the month and see how you feel about it. PMS is totally real. I have one day a month where I probably should be locked in a room with chocolate and not allowed on the internet. I’ve had men in my life that say it’s all in my head and it’s just me making excuses for being a total bitch. What really amuses me is when men say “she’s on the rag.” No, I’m NOT, but I am ABOUT to be. Being on the rag is a happy experience because it means there’s no unplanned pregnancy, HELLO. The day before can be total hell. Some women have it more than others, but I have it pinned down to one day a month, which I think is excellent. It pisses me off that there is physiological proof that PMS is an actual condition, and some men still don’t want to believe it. I also think if I have a human being crammed in my cervix for nine months, it's going to make PMS look like a holiday.

He says: PMS is totally real, but it’s not just a girl condition. I can back this up, so hear me out. I know a guy that took steroids. Steroids basically boil down to adding testosterone to the body. Women don’t produce testosterone naturally. But, men produce estrogen. When you inject that much testosterone into yourself, the body naturally increases the body’s estrogen. When this friend quit taking the steroids his body was still producing that extra estrogen, thus making him ‘emotional’. I remember him balling like baby at commercials. Do I think some girls exaggerate their PMS for attention, yes. Do I think that some guy’s blame it on not being able to deal with a woman emotionally, absolutely. I can’t imagine a kidney stone, much less a baby, so I won’t go there. Lol

Lesson learned: PMS could probably be used as a defense in court. Manperiods are real.


STEREOTYPE #4: If you’re from Nashville you must love country music.


He says: This gets on my nerves. There are 100 bands in Nashville that play at places like Exit Inn, East Nashville and any other of 500 small clubs that encourage creative and alternative artists to perform. But when someone hears your from Nashville all they wanna know is how much you love Toby Keith or assume you have very few teeth or wear a cowboy hat. The truth is that Nashville is home to some of the friendliest people in the country(ask anyone who’s visited) and the personalities here are all unique. In fact, if there’s a stereotype that should be about TN is that we are all friendly. I’ve been to your Cleveland’s and your St. Louis’; and as pretty as those cities are, they are very vanilla and conformist. If that’s the life you want, then count me out.


She says: The second anyone finds out I’m from TN, they think the same thing. I love George Strait. That’s it. I think the world needs to know Paramore is from Franklin. Since I don’t live there, I’m not remotely aware of the music scene, but I am sure it’s a lot tastier than Denver. Not only must you love country music, but if you have a southern accent, you must be stupid and probably are racist. I guess it’s a bonus I have mostly lost my accent, because it definitely cuts down on the amount of stupid people I have to tell to fuck off. I don’t have to be friendly to them, lol. The only other place I’ve been where people were noticeably more friendly than normal was – and you’re not going to believe me – New York City. Conversely, when people find out you’re from Colorado, they usually assume you’re a skiing hippie stoner. Which is OK, I’m just not that cool.

Lesson Learned: Nashville isn't just for country music anymore, y'all.

STEREOTYPE #5: Women who date older men are all gold diggers.


She says: I can’t believe this one. I am sure it happens on occasion, but if you see a semi-young woman shacked up with a much-older man, I like to believe it’s for the right reasons, because I’m a romantic at heart. I always look at situations from a “what would I do” viewpoint, and I would never date someone because he had a fat bank account. Hello, if Sean Connery was poor, a lot of us would still be lining up for some of that. I personally have never been into older men, so no, I don’t understand the attraction, but I’ve seen stranger couples who are madly in love and it doesn’t compute in my mind, but totally works for them, and that’s awesome. I would hazard to guess Anna Nicole Smith, God rest her soul, fell into the gold digger category. And while we’re on the subject, what was Catherine Zeta Jones thinking?

He says: As a guy who digs younger women, I have to admire Michael Douglass. 2nd, It’s odd you brought up Sean Connery, because I’ve always said if I’d look that good at 70, I’d be a happy guy. There’s Anna Nicole Smith and there’s Shawn King. I believe she really loves him. There is definitely the dirty old man side of me, but I totally relate better to women my age. I’ve really got nothing to say here as I hope to score me a few of those gold diggers when I’m 70 myself. :)

Lesson learned: We shall argue the older men/younger women versus older women/younger men double standard at some point. :)

Random Post of the Day #1

We can delete this, I just remembered it right this second and needed to write it down. By remember, I mean I looked at the drafts in my text messages and saw the word "Fruitcake" which I had obviously typed in when I was drunk so I would remember - and here I am.

i usually laugh at my drunken ideas and forget about them forever only to be reminded a year later by someone who thought it was totally hillarious.

Last weekend, I participated in a GNO (Girls' Night Out). No, this isn't some metaphor related to wearing a shirt that lets your tits fall out, it's just a bunch of girls drinking and dancing and swearing not to bring home any stray boys. We went downtown to a bar I love where a band was playing that really wasn't very good. I mean, for what they did, they were probably good, but I don't think "Slide" should ever be covered by a band that could cover Phish immaculately. Plus, going from "Slide" to "Mrs. Potter's Lullaby" to "Sledgehammer" should be illegal.

i'm agreeing that their set list order needed some work. My guess is that they all made a list of songs they wanted to do and in order to appease everyone in the band and while making each other happy spit out an evvenings worth of poo for the general public. GNO. so, it's not guns and oranges. :)

There are tons of songs that I don't really like, yet know all the words to because I spent the 80's glued to MTV. "Sledgehammer" is one of those songs. Now, after years and years of hearing this slightly ridiculous song ("In Your Eyes" and "Solsbury Hill"...and CUT!)...these lyrics, which I'm sure I've heard over and over, caused a light bulb to go off...

Show me round your fruitcage
cos I will be your honey bee
Open up your fruitcage
Where the fruit is as sweet as can be

I realize it was CAGE, and not CAKE, but still, holy shit, Peter Gabriel used "fruitcage" as a metaphor for "vagina." DUDE. This moment was almost as enlightening as finally figuring out what Pearl Jam is. Dammit, I liked it better when I thought it was "fruitcake." On second thought, "fruitcage" is less gay.

i'm down with the bad 80's with questionable lyrics that are double entendre's. here are some of my favorite.....

she had a pocket full of horses, Trojans, and some of them used.

If I looked all over the world And there's every type of girl But your empty eyes Seem to pass me by Leave me dancing with myself

there was actually a band called The Muffs

Hey, hey--they say I better get a chaperone Because I can't stop messin' with the danger zone No, I won't worry, and I won't fret--Ain't no law against it yet--Oop--she bop--she bop--

Off to make a list of metaphorical terms for men and women's nethers....

This is a test of the emergency posting system.

Relax, this is only a test. If this had been an actual emergency, there would have been an actual blog.