Walkin' Talkin' Stereotypes

We all do it, whether we admit it or not, even if it's just in our heads. But why do we stereotype? To quote somebody...."The scientific evidence is that the primary function of stereotypes is what researchers very prettily call 'the reality function'. That is, stereotypes are useful tools for dealing with the world."

Here's the result of sitting around, enjoying adult beverages, and "dealing with the world" and wondering - any validity to this stereotype thing? Besides the fact we used stereotypical red for a female viewpoint and stereotypical blue for a male viewpoint?


STEREOTYPE #1: A man’s self-confidence is directly related to the size of his penis.


She says: This is one of those things that I don’t understand because I don’t have the equipment. I’ve dated guys who really wanted to know how endowed my previous lover was, and I’ve dated guys who never thought to ask and didn’t seem to care. Honestly, I usually forget the old one when I get access to a new one. You could put all the penises I’ve known in a lineup and I probably couldn’t tell you which one belonged to whom. You hear things about men “overcompensating” and assuming it’s because they think they have a small package. Since I’ve never met a penis that couldn’t do the job well, I think this is ridiculous and have a hard time believing it’s true. The only way I know to equate it is by thinking of my breasts this way. I’m pretty happy with the size of my boobs, sometimes I’ve wished they were bigger, sometimes I’ve wished they were smaller. But I never really worry about whether or not a guy is comparing them to previous breasts or future breasts, because I’m pretty sure he’s just happy I’m naked. Why can’t men think that way?


He says: Self confidence can be related to the size of his penis. But so can weight, hair, job, clothes, etc. I’ve never once asked any girl about another man’s penis, but I have had girlfriends ‘friends’ look at me twice because my girl was talking about me. So, I’m not buying that it doesn’t completely matter. Now, I’d rather have a girl look at my penis than my gut, but that doesn’t make me more or less self confident except when I rip my pants on the dance floor. Truth time 90% of the time any type of guy can make any woman believe he’s a stud just by looking her in the eye and talking with confidence. Now, 90% of guys get distracted by cleavage or an apple bottom and tend to talk to a woman’s neck or lips so he can still sneak glances. What he doesn’t realize is that he could probably see the whole package with a little eye contact. You’re right on guys not comparing breasts, cause at the moment we see them, they’re the only thing in the world that matters.

Lesson learned: Confidence is an inny, not an outy.


STEREOTYPE #2: Guys that care about their appearance and are clean, must be gay.


He says: Wrong wrong wrong. I am that guy, and I don’t even remotely crave the cock. People have thought it, and that doesn’t bother me. What bothers me is the people who like to say ‘he’s gay, he just doesn’t know it.’ Again, false. I cant say that there is 0% chance that man won’t ever someday make me go gaga. But, it hasn’t happened yet. Yet, I’m gaga over most of the cool women I meet. I think it’s men’s insecurities that lead them to say this. I don’t mind admitting that I know a lot of guys wish they were more like me, maybe not physically, but emotionally and socially. And, the women who say that are just as shallow as the men who talk to their boobs. And, are always the ones who brag about making men do what they want, so I think there’s some intimidation there too. Now, bring on the whores!


She says: Totally don’t think so. I had my first “metro” experience early, and he used more hair products than I did, but holy shit, he smelled good, and he was not not not not gay. Vanity is not just for women anymore. I’m actually to the point where if I meet a guy with really dirty fingernails and who doesn’t care about his appearance in other ways, I automatically think he must not have a lot of respect for himself. Maybe that’s twisted. Everything has changed in the past 50 years – if women can do the same jobs men can, then men can be a little vain. Clinique and Avon have skin care lines for men – it’s officially OK!! Anyone who doesn’t realize this obviously lives under a rock. Or somewhere really close to where we grew up. Being secure means not being threatened by other people’s choices, and when people are threatened by you, yeah, they look for any reason to tear you down to make themselves feel more secure but rarely have the balls to say it to your face. I’m all for men being clean and smelling good and caring about how they look at what they wear, and that Garnier stuff you suggested? FUCKING ROCKS. Plus, the fact men shower and care about their hygiene means I’m not greeted by foul-ball smell in intimate situations. :)

Lesson learned: The men who make fun of guys who look and smell good by suggesting that they're gay are probably sporting small penises.


STEREOTYPE #3: PMS isn’t real.

She says: You bleed one week out of the month and see how you feel about it. PMS is totally real. I have one day a month where I probably should be locked in a room with chocolate and not allowed on the internet. I’ve had men in my life that say it’s all in my head and it’s just me making excuses for being a total bitch. What really amuses me is when men say “she’s on the rag.” No, I’m NOT, but I am ABOUT to be. Being on the rag is a happy experience because it means there’s no unplanned pregnancy, HELLO. The day before can be total hell. Some women have it more than others, but I have it pinned down to one day a month, which I think is excellent. It pisses me off that there is physiological proof that PMS is an actual condition, and some men still don’t want to believe it. I also think if I have a human being crammed in my cervix for nine months, it's going to make PMS look like a holiday.

He says: PMS is totally real, but it’s not just a girl condition. I can back this up, so hear me out. I know a guy that took steroids. Steroids basically boil down to adding testosterone to the body. Women don’t produce testosterone naturally. But, men produce estrogen. When you inject that much testosterone into yourself, the body naturally increases the body’s estrogen. When this friend quit taking the steroids his body was still producing that extra estrogen, thus making him ‘emotional’. I remember him balling like baby at commercials. Do I think some girls exaggerate their PMS for attention, yes. Do I think that some guy’s blame it on not being able to deal with a woman emotionally, absolutely. I can’t imagine a kidney stone, much less a baby, so I won’t go there. Lol

Lesson learned: PMS could probably be used as a defense in court. Manperiods are real.


STEREOTYPE #4: If you’re from Nashville you must love country music.


He says: This gets on my nerves. There are 100 bands in Nashville that play at places like Exit Inn, East Nashville and any other of 500 small clubs that encourage creative and alternative artists to perform. But when someone hears your from Nashville all they wanna know is how much you love Toby Keith or assume you have very few teeth or wear a cowboy hat. The truth is that Nashville is home to some of the friendliest people in the country(ask anyone who’s visited) and the personalities here are all unique. In fact, if there’s a stereotype that should be about TN is that we are all friendly. I’ve been to your Cleveland’s and your St. Louis’; and as pretty as those cities are, they are very vanilla and conformist. If that’s the life you want, then count me out.


She says: The second anyone finds out I’m from TN, they think the same thing. I love George Strait. That’s it. I think the world needs to know Paramore is from Franklin. Since I don’t live there, I’m not remotely aware of the music scene, but I am sure it’s a lot tastier than Denver. Not only must you love country music, but if you have a southern accent, you must be stupid and probably are racist. I guess it’s a bonus I have mostly lost my accent, because it definitely cuts down on the amount of stupid people I have to tell to fuck off. I don’t have to be friendly to them, lol. The only other place I’ve been where people were noticeably more friendly than normal was – and you’re not going to believe me – New York City. Conversely, when people find out you’re from Colorado, they usually assume you’re a skiing hippie stoner. Which is OK, I’m just not that cool.

Lesson Learned: Nashville isn't just for country music anymore, y'all.

STEREOTYPE #5: Women who date older men are all gold diggers.


She says: I can’t believe this one. I am sure it happens on occasion, but if you see a semi-young woman shacked up with a much-older man, I like to believe it’s for the right reasons, because I’m a romantic at heart. I always look at situations from a “what would I do” viewpoint, and I would never date someone because he had a fat bank account. Hello, if Sean Connery was poor, a lot of us would still be lining up for some of that. I personally have never been into older men, so no, I don’t understand the attraction, but I’ve seen stranger couples who are madly in love and it doesn’t compute in my mind, but totally works for them, and that’s awesome. I would hazard to guess Anna Nicole Smith, God rest her soul, fell into the gold digger category. And while we’re on the subject, what was Catherine Zeta Jones thinking?

He says: As a guy who digs younger women, I have to admire Michael Douglass. 2nd, It’s odd you brought up Sean Connery, because I’ve always said if I’d look that good at 70, I’d be a happy guy. There’s Anna Nicole Smith and there’s Shawn King. I believe she really loves him. There is definitely the dirty old man side of me, but I totally relate better to women my age. I’ve really got nothing to say here as I hope to score me a few of those gold diggers when I’m 70 myself. :)

Lesson learned: We shall argue the older men/younger women versus older women/younger men double standard at some point. :)